Accepting Help Without Guilt, the Difference Between Dementia and Alzheimer’s, and How to Pass Down Wealth

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Fiction: The Rose Code by Kate Quinn – Three women working as codebreakers at Britain's Bletchley Park during World War II forge an unlikely friendship, only to reunite years later to uncover a dangerous betrayal.

History (Non-Fiction): Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania by Erik Larson – This gripping history reconstructs the final voyage of the British ocean liner Lusitania and the German submarine attack that helped reshape public opinion during World War I.

Memoir: The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin by Benjamin Franklin – This classic autobiography recounts a remarkable journey from humble beginnings to success as a printer, inventor, statesman, and influential figure in early American history.

Self-Help: Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath – This practical guide explores why change can be difficult and offers strategies for overcoming resistance, reshaping habits, and creating lasting improvements in work and everyday life.

Romance: The Love Plot by Samantha Young – A free-spirited woman agrees to pose as the girlfriend of a wealthy, uptight veterinarian, but their convenient arrangement soon develops into an unexpected romance.

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If you've spent years being the person everyone relies on, being the one to accept help can feel surprisingly uncomfortable.

Perhaps you're accustomed to organizing the household, looking after others, solving problems, and managing whatever needs doing. When circumstances change and someone offers to take a few responsibilities off your shoulders, your first instinct may be to say, "No, thank you. I'm fine."

But being capable and needing help every once in a while aren't opposites. Indeed, they can sometimes be two sides of the same coin.

For many people, independence is closely tied to their sense of identity. Accepting assistance may feel like admitting they can no longer manage, even when that's not the case.

Caregiving can make this particularly complicated. You may feel that looking after someone you love is your responsibility and that asking another person to step in somehow means you're not doing enough or admitting defeat in some way.

But consider how you feel when you help someone else. Chances are, you don't see them as incapable. You likely recognize that they may be overwhelmed or simply need some time off, and you're simply pleased to make their day a little easier.

The people offering to help you likely feel exactly the same way. If you don’t want them to feel guilty when they accept your help, why should you feel guilty accepting theirs?

Accepting help doesn't have to mean handing over major responsibilities.

If someone offers assistance, consider saying yes to something manageable:

Specific requests are typically easier for others to fulfill than a general appeal for help.

And remember, you don't have to apologize repeatedly or explain why you need assistance. A sincere "Thank you, that would be wonderful" is enough.

Relationships naturally involve a rhythm of giving and receiving, but the balance doesn't have to be equal every week. The tally doesn’t have to look one to one at all times.

You may have supported friends through difficult periods in the past. Now circumstances may allow them to support you. Likewise, if they’re supporting you now, you will almost undoubtedly have a chance to do the same for them in the future.

Additionally, receiving help might not just prove helpful for you. Accepting someone’s kindness gives them an opportunity to contribute to a relationship they value.

Accepting help doesn't diminish your independence, competence, or commitment to someone else's well-being. It simply entails the recognition that responsibilities are sometimes easier when they're shared, even if just for a short while.

You can remain capable, caring, and involved without doing absolutely everything yourself. Indeed, an extra hand or short break can be exactly what you need to do the best job, no matter what it is you’re doing.

We're looking for seniors who are embracing life with enthusiasm, purpose, and adventure. Whether you're traveling the world, starting a business, volunteering, pursuing a passion, learning new skills, or simply making the most of every day, we'd love to hear your story.

Think that might be you?

Email [email protected] with a photo and a short bio. We may feature you in an upcoming edition of Seniors Magazine.

Somewhere in your home is probably an object you keep meaning to repair. Today might be the day—or you can officially decide it isn’t worth repairing.

The discount: Ramada by Wyndham

What it gives you: Offers special senior room rates at participating properties

How to claim it: Select the senior discount when booking and present ID if requested

“The Little Bookshop on Main Street”
From the life overview of Peter N., 76, Burlington, Vermont. Shared with permission.

In 1979, I spent almost every Saturday morning in a secondhand bookshop on Main Street. I was thirty years old, and my job at the time—working as a draftsman at an engineering firm—didn’t provide me with enough money to buy a lot of new books. Fortunately, the shop had shelves filled with used paperbacks sold for fifty cents each. There was also a back room where the owner kept older hardcovers for a discounted price.

The owner was a woman named Ruth. She had large glasses on a chain and seemed to know where every book in the store was located. If I asked for a particular author, she would disappear between the shelves and return with at least three suggestions, one of which I had usually never heard of.

I became a regular after a while. Ruth learned that I liked history and detective novels, so she started setting them aside for me. Sometimes I would spend an hour browsing and leave with nothing. But Ruth never seemed to mind.

One Saturday, I arrived to find a handwritten sign in the window. It said that the shop would close at the end of the month. Ruth had decided to move to Florida so she could be near her sister. I asked whether she planned to sell the remaining stock.

She said yes, and I was foolish enough to ask how much she wanted for everything.

Ruth just looked at me over her glasses. “You don’t have room for everything, Peter.”

She was right. I bought two boxes of books and spent the next several weekends helping her sort the rest. On her last day, she gave me a gift. It was a battered copy of a history book I had admired but never purchased.

I still own it to this day. The binding is loose, and several passages were underlined in pencil before Ruth even gave it to me. I don’t know whether she marked it up or if a previous reader had done so.

I think of her now whenever I walk into a secondhand bookshop. I always hope the person behind the counter will have a recommendation for me, just like she did.

***

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One Sound, Two Frames – Google Arts & Culture
Can you tell which painting inspired a piece of music simply by listening? This unusual interactive challenge presents two artworks and a short musical composition generated from one of them, then asks you to identify the match. As the rounds progress, the choices become more difficult, encouraging you to notice subtle connections between color, atmosphere, and sound.

Climate History Australia – Help Decode Historic Weather Records
Travel back to nineteenth-century Australia by examining handwritten weather journals recorded more than a century ago. This online citizen-science project invites volunteers to transcribe temperatures, wind directions, and other observations, helping researchers reconstruct historical weather patterns. It's an unusual opportunity to explore authentic documents while contributing to scientific research from home.

Sheriff’s Office issues warning after scam targets local teacher

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Some of the brightest objects in the night sky aren't stars at all. They're planets, and several can be spotted without a telescope. Learning to recognize them turns an ordinary evening outdoors into a small astronomy adventure.

With a little practice, you can begin identifying planets by their brightness, color, and position in the sky.

Five planets are visible to the unaided eye under favorable conditions: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn.

Each has recognizable characteristics:

Unlike stars, planets often appear to twinkle less, although atmospheric conditions can affect their appearance.

Planet positions change throughout the year, so checking a current sky map is more reliable than memorizing where to look.

Stellarium offers an interactive view of the sky for your location and chosen date.

Time and Date's night sky guide helps identify visible planets and provides information about when they rise and set.

You can also consult NASA's monthly skywatching updates for upcoming planetary highlights.

You don't need special equipment to identify the brightest planets, but binoculars can reveal additional details.

With steady 10× binoculars, you may be able to distinguish Jupiter's four largest moons as tiny points of light beside the planet.

A small telescope can reveal Saturn's rings, Jupiter's cloud bands, and the changing phases of Venus under suitable viewing conditions.

For more observing guidance, explore Sky & Telescope's planetary astronomy resources.

Record the date, time, direction, and appearance of each planet you identify. Note its color, brightness, and position relative to nearby stars or the Moon.

Revisit the same viewing spot every few weeks to observe how the planets shift against the background stars.

You might even challenge yourself to identify all five naked-eye planets over the course of a year.

Once you learn to recognize them, those bright points in the sky become familiar neighbors in our solar system rather than anonymous lights overhead.

If your computer's built-in camera produces a blurry picture, your smartphone may offer a better alternative. Many phones have excellent cameras that can double as webcams for Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and other video-calling services.

Apple's Continuity Camera feature lets you use a compatible iPhone as your Mac's webcam.

You'll need an iPhone XR or later running iOS 16 or newer and a compatible Mac running macOS Ventura or later. Both devices must be signed into the same Apple Account with Wi-Fi and Bluetooth enabled.

Position your iPhone near your Mac with its rear camera facing you. Open your video-calling app and select your iPhone from the camera settings.

On supported Android 14 or newer phones, connect your phone to a computer using a USB cable. Tap the USB connection notification and select Webcam if available.

In your video-calling app, open the camera settings and choose your phone as the video source.

Compatibility varies by device. If your phone doesn't offer built-in webcam support, third-party apps may provide an alternative.

For the best results, place your phone on a stable stand at eye level, clean the camera lens, and position a light in front of you rather than behind you.

Today: Porto, Portugal

Porto charms visitors with colorful riverside buildings, historic churches, beautiful bridges, and wonderful Portuguese food. Its setting along the Douro River makes it a memorable destination for travelers who enjoy history and scenery.

Ingrid’s Tip: Porto has plenty of steep streets, so consider staying near the river or in a central hotel with easy transportation access. A scenic river cruise is a lovely way to enjoy the city while giving your feet a rest.

Unscramble the letters to find a famous person, event, or object. Think you know it? Reply with your answer and show off your brainpower.

Today’s clue: Small collectible toy with wild, colorful hair.

LOTRL LLDO

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